My Darling Mrs. Eidenberg

This morning I got this heart wrenching, unsolicited email from Mrs. Laura - an excerpt:

Dearest Beloved,
I know that this letter might be a surprise to you, I came across your email contact from my personal search and I instructed the doctor here in this hospital to help me email you and I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before I will die.
I am Mrs Laura Eidenberg from Belgium, I am 78 years old, I am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast."
etc. etc. MONEY etc. etc.

Yours in Christ, Laura

She went on to say that she had some money to give me, lot's of it. Note that she's in Belgium, not Nigeria, so this is not some run-of-the-mill scam. So I carefully composed a heartfelt response. I hope she received it in the spirit I intended.

Dear Laura,

I hope you suffer a long, drawn out painful death, screaming and writhing in pain at the horror of approaching death. Since you are deaf you will have to imagine that I am screaming in your ear "FUCK OFF BITCH."
Otherwise, Have A Nice Day! :)

Jim

 You can send your sentiments to: laura.eidenberg@mums.com

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