ABDICATE: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at Burger King.
ATHEISM: a non-prophet organization (George Carlin)
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.
BARIUM: What we do to most people when they die.
CANTALOUPE: Gotta get married in a church.
CATALOGS: Rails used to build cow fences.
COFFEE: A person who is coughed upon.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate.
HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
MISTY: How golfers create divots.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
OYSTER: A person who sprinkles conversation with Yiddish expressions.
POLYGON: A dead parrot.
PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
PRIMATE: Removing your husband from in front of the TV.
PRIVATE TUTOR: Someone who doesn't fart in public.
SEAMSTRESS: Describes 250 pounds in a size 6. 
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