Dear <3rd grade English teacher>
Please pardon Ryan G for not returning his assignment with my signature.
O He was very sick.
O I was very sick.
O Everybody was sick. Please feel sorry for us and have mercy.
O The dog ate it.
O The hamster ate it.
O I ate it. We had Mexican for dinner and I thought it was a square tortilla.
O The dog made a bed out of it.
O The hamster made a bed out of it.
O The dog and the hamster ran away together to Tijuana
O The wind whisked it away, lofted it up to the clouds, and it hasn’t come down yet.
O Terrorists stole his schoolbag.
X He left it in my car when I dropped him off at school. It has shoe prints all over it now.
O I signed it but left it on the kitchen table. Dull, but true.
O It was folded up, in his pocket all the time. Have mercy.
O He already gave it to you. YOU messed up.
O A Pokemon critter transformed it into his math homework. You already saw it and returned it.
O He messed up. NAIL HIM!
O I messed up and threw it away. But it WAS signed.
O He fell asleep working on his latest theorem and lost it in a stack of papers in his briefcase. So far: E=mc3. Sooooo close.
O He left it in a business meeting he had earlier that morning, before school.
O It fell into a paper shredder. Really, truly, honestly. It could happen.
O CNN is doing a story on it and kept the original.
O Aliens stole it. They signed it. They returned it to me. I am afraid to give it to you because it glows.
Sincerely,
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